Miracles

It has been 3 years since I went to Ryan and said, "Honey, I think we need to have a baby." I 110% totally thought that Ryan would say, "No, let's wait a while longer." It was a miracle when he said, "I think you are right!" So, here we are today, the proud parents of an independent and cute little two year old girl.


3 years ago I never could have even fathomed how tiring and hard the next 3 years would and have been...or how overwhelmingly rewarding and filled with joy they would be. I feel so blessed that I would be selfish not to acknowledge how many miracles have come my way. Some are huge and others seem so small some might call them coincidence, but they were huge to me and I know them as miracles.


I learned what real worry was when they found choroid plexus cysts on Sadie's brain at our 20 week ultrasound. In many cases, these cysts don't mean anything and resolve on their own. But in other cases it can be a symptom of more severe birth defects. We had to wait until I was 6 months along before they could recheck to see if the cysts had resolved. Those were some long months waiting and worrying. That is one of my biggest miracles - the cysts resolved and Sadie was born a very healthy and strong baby.


Then when Sadie was about 8 months old she started having seizures. It was like someone would switch an off button in Sadie and her whole body would go limp, her head would drop and she would lose all muscle control for just an instant and then she would be right back to normal. This would happen almost every 45 minutes. It came on suddenly and lasted for a week and then disappeared just as suddenly. The Dr. said it was probably just a severe symptom of development...but who knows. One thing is for sure, it taught me to have faith and to pray like I have never prayed before. Miraculously, the seizures have not returned, nor do they appear to have harmed Sadie in any way. A modern day miracle.


I see it as a miracle that I am blessed with such an amazing mother who was by my side every day for a month after Sadie was born and has come to babysit every week since.


The fact that I found a husband who is so patient and understanding and such a great dad is a blessing. And the fact that he still loved me even through postpartum depression is a miracle too.


Finding Sadie's current pediatrician was a miracle. Especially after dealing with her first pediatrician for 6 months. He was a complete joke.


Then there are just little tiny miracles every day - one night Sadie was so sick and she was screaming and in pain. I didn't know what to do and I didn't think I had any Tylenol left. I said a little prayer and suddenly I remembered a bottle of Tylenol that I had forgotten about. I even found it in a drawer where it doesn't normally belong. That bottle of Tylenol was a miracle.


Other days miracles are simply when Sadie sleeps for an extra hour or two, or when she falls off the couch or the bed, misses completely braining herself on the table, and pops right back up like nothing happened. Or when amazing neighbors or friends lend a hand without being asked.

Saying Sadie is attached to her binkies would be a massive understatement. Alas, the time has come. I have been slowly phasing them out one at a time (at one point she carried 5 around with her at once) by cutting small holes in them. She says, "They bowken" (broken) and I say, "Ok, go put them in the garbage." The first binkie, she just couldn't do it! She said, "Help, pwees" (please). I threw it away and off she ran happy as a little bug. Today, however, we came to the Very. LAST. Binkie. I knew she would be ok throwing it away. She thinks that part is fun. I just didn't expect her to be ok when she asked for it before she went to sleep and we told her that they were all gone. Yeah, here is the miracle: She didn't even ask for it! Just got in her crib and went to sleep.

Miracles do happen. And I have proof.

Young Love

Last week I took my sister-in-law up to the University of Utah so she could take her CPA exam. After I dropped her off Sadie and I decided to wait fer her at a nearby park instead of going all the way home.

Being on a college campus again brought back some fond memories of my time in college and also reminded me that I am oh so glad to not be in that stage of life anymore. And by "that stage of life" I mean single and on the hunt. Here's why:

The eternal quest of being physically desirable. I am not saying that just because I am married I am, purposefully, letting my looks go to pot. I am just saying that it is nice to know that I have found somebody that likes me just the way I am, even when "just the way I am" is struggling to get off the baby weight. I remember dreading the "freshmen 15" so much that I didn't eat dessert for like 4 months. Well, the remembrance of that anxiety returned when I saw a constant string of college boys trying to become perfect specimens of muscularity. I really wish that I had brought a camera because there are some things that just can't be adequately described with words, but I will give it my best shot. At this park there was a set of monkey bars. There were also plenty of kids. Yet no kids ever played on the monkey bars. "Why?" you ask. Because they were constantly being utilized. Not more than 15 minutes passed before a college student would walk by, drop his backpack on the ground and begin **trying** to do pull ups. In the 3 hours that Sadie and I were in the park I saw fat guys, skinny guys, skater guys, nerdy guys...all doing pull ups on the monkey bars at the park. Some were a lot more successful than others. But really? Doing pull ups? at the public park? Hilarious.

There is also the humiliating possibility of being rejected. And vice versa, the dreaded situation of being approached by a member of the opposite sex that you might find far less than desirable. Case in point:
Male. Mid-thirties. Full beard. Glasses. Dress: stylish, for the 70's.
Female. Quite a bit younger. Attractive. Reading a book by herself. Obviously wants to be left alone.
Male approaches female.
Female continues reading book and answers questions as minimally as possible.
(At this juncture most people with adequate social skills would get the point and move on)
Unfortunately, for both involved, the male decides his pick up lines just aren't working so he tries to impress the female by removing his shirt.
Male: Blindingly white skin. Hairy. Lacking in any muscle definition. umm...droopy.

Uhh, awkward!!!! I am just glad that that was not me he was trying to talk to. Yet, my heart goes out to him. It never feels good to put yourself out there and get denied. I am just glad I am done searching for someone to hang out with.

On the other hand... If you are lucky enough to find someone who fancies you as much as you fancy them, there is something to be said about those early days of blossoming love.

A couple walked through the park holding hands and drinking sodas. They stopped to swing on the swings, one facing east and the other facing west so that they could carry on their heart to heart discussion and, I assume, to look lovingly into each other's eyes. Ah, how romantic. I am glad to be where I am but that giddy stage of love is pretty fun too.

Speaking of young love, Sadie made a friend that was a boy at the park. She was so impressed at what a good walker he was and his full head of dark curls just made her heart melt. He played hard to get at first, securely defending his toys and his spot in the wood chips from Sadie's advances. Yet, her irresistible smile and willingness to share her treats won him over and eventually little 15 month Galileo decided to share his toys, saliva and all, with Sadie.

Ah, young love.