Honesty

I have an (almost) 3 year old residing in my house. This means that I get to hear a lot of really, really truthful things about me ("Mommy, you are getting bigger") and a lot of not so truthful things about Sadie (Me: Sadie, did you just color on the dog with a marker? Sadie: ...(no answer, just a guilty smile) ... but look Mommy, Malley has pretty colors all over him!)

As you can see in my last post, my stomach is quite large these days. Thus, my shirts are doing a less good job covering it. Especially because I still wear non-maternity t-shirts to sleep in. This morning I was wearing one such t-shirt and it got pulled up a little as I was getting Sadie out of the bath.  Before I could get a chance to pull my shirt back down over my pregnant self, Sadie looked up and pointed and with great amazement in her voice said, "Mommy! You have stripes on your tummy!! That's cool!!!"

Yes, Sadie. That is the truth. The very honest truth. I do have stripes on my overly stretched stomach. They were lovingly created by you and your little sister.

Armed with the truth I went to a maternity store and laid down a good amount of green for a little of this:

Awww. I just love a lot of pregnancy mixed up with a little honesty. :)

How to Shoplift a Watermelon

I ran to the grocery store the other day and used the self checkout lane to pay for the groceries. I usually don't use the self checkout lanes as they completely freak me out. The automated voice is always telling me I am stupid, "Please place your scanned item in the bagging area... Please bag your item... NOW.  PUT YOUR ITEM IN THE BAG BEFORE I SEND A POLICE SQUADRON!!! Thank You." But, hey, what could go wrong? I only had a couple of items and I was in a hurry.

As I began the check out process I was trying my best to avoid the embarrassment I usually experience with these lanes so I was very carefully scanning each item and then very carefully placing them in the bagging area. You can imagine my pride when I successfully scanned all of my items without incident.

The credit card scanner is above the bagging area, so next I stepped away from the scanning area and over to the bagging area so I could pay for my groceries. And this is when the machine decided to start freaking out at me.
"There is an unscanned item in the bagging area! Please scan your item before bagging. BEEP. BEEP. There is an unscanned item in the bagging area! Please scan your item before bagging. BEEP!! BEEP!!"

I checked my hands. I checked my bags. I checked the scanning area. I had scanned ALL of my items. "What the crap is going on??" I just couldn't figure it out.

I checked again. I had absolutely no idea what the machine was freaking out about so I stepped back to think and try to figure out what I was going to do when the store clerk came over to accuse me of stealing.
...And the machine calmed down...

Yes, that is right. I stepped back and suddenly there were no more unscanned items in the bagging area. The machine thought my huge, pregnant belly was a grocery item. Nice.

So, this is what we have learned about self check out lanes:
A. If you have ever wondered whether or not you are too fat, just go stand in front of the scanner. Unlike your mother or your husband, the self check out machine will give you a truthful and unbiased answer.
B. If you really want some watermelon but just don't have the money to buy one, put it under your shirt and use the self check out lane. It will just let you know you are too fat.
C. You will realize that you have reached a point where your pregnancy is quite obvious. In fact, your pregnant belly is huge... as big as someone with a watermelon up their shirt.

My Huge Belly at 31 weeks.

I think I will stick to the regular check out lanes from now on.

Why Do You Hate Me?

This toy was GIVEN to Sadie by a man working the candy/toy booth at the amusement park we visited the other night. 

You know in those crime thriller movies when someone is handed a beautifully wrapped gift only to open it to find a bomb or something like that inside? I kinda know how that might feel now. I mean, what a fun toy! And why would someone just give it away?

Fast forward to 5 minutes trapped in a car with this butterfly. I started to wonder what is was I did to this man to make him hate me so.

After about 15 minutes I was ready to report an assault. I am pretty sure my ears started bleeding... or was I just having seizures from the strobbing lights??? I don't even know anymore!

This butterfly has been in Sadie's possession for about a month now and I am pretty sure this amusement park man successfully carried out a terrorist attack on my sanity. I truly am sorry that I subjected you to this kind of cruelty, but I needed someone to know why I have gone crazy.

Dear Amusement Park Man, why, oh, why do you hate me so???

Sleeping Time or Party Time?

About a month ago I decided it was time to transfer Sadie to a "big girl" bed. We will be getting a real bed for her sometime in August (as we will be needing the crib come mid-September), but until then Sadie's big girl bed is her crib with one of the sides removed. From all indications Sadie is thrilled with this development.

Sadie preparing for her first night's sleep in her big girl bed

I did my best to make sure she was good and tired out for that first night of sleep. I am no idiot. I have seen the Super Nanny. I know this new found freedom can spell horror for a parent. Luckily, the first night went grandly! Sadie went right to sleep. The next night seemed to go well, too.

Sometime down the road, however, Sadie discovered that she could get out of bed whenever she pleased. This lead to an abrupt ending of nap time and a rather prolonged bedtime.

One morning, I didn't hear her open her door or walk down the stairs. Upon realizing her bedroom door was open, I did a frantic search around the house and found her opening the sliding glass door and making a beeline for her play set at 6 in the morning.

When I couldn't stand the lack of a nap time anymore I insisted she stay in her bed and sleep. This resulted in me physically picking her up and putting her back in her bed 42 times (yes, I counted) in the space of an hour and a half. She finally got the idea that she needed to stay in her bed, but never actually went to sleep.

I will never forget one of the first nights she realized she could get out of bed. Ryan and I were downstairs watching TV. All had been quite in Sadie's room for a couple of hours, which would make me assume she was asleep. Sometime around 10pm Ryan went up to our bedroom only to find Sadie dressed in my finest pair of high heels, drawers completely emptied and Dora the Explorer playing on the TV.

The ensuing conversation went something like this:
Ryan: "Sadie! Oh No! What are you doing? It is sleeping time!!!"
Sadie: " NO Dad! IT IS PARTY TIME!!!!!"


It's Party Time!

After a month or so of daily battles, she is finally getting the hang of staying in her bed and actually going to sleep. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that I threatened the life of her very favorite stuffed animal if she gets out of her bed during sleeping time...