3 + 1 = 4

Photo courtesy of Christian Photography

Alyssa Brynn Johnson

Born September 20, 2011

8 lbs 1 oz 20 in

Honesty

I have an (almost) 3 year old residing in my house. This means that I get to hear a lot of really, really truthful things about me ("Mommy, you are getting bigger") and a lot of not so truthful things about Sadie (Me: Sadie, did you just color on the dog with a marker? Sadie: ...(no answer, just a guilty smile) ... but look Mommy, Malley has pretty colors all over him!)

As you can see in my last post, my stomach is quite large these days. Thus, my shirts are doing a less good job covering it. Especially because I still wear non-maternity t-shirts to sleep in. This morning I was wearing one such t-shirt and it got pulled up a little as I was getting Sadie out of the bath.  Before I could get a chance to pull my shirt back down over my pregnant self, Sadie looked up and pointed and with great amazement in her voice said, "Mommy! You have stripes on your tummy!! That's cool!!!"

Yes, Sadie. That is the truth. The very honest truth. I do have stripes on my overly stretched stomach. They were lovingly created by you and your little sister.

Armed with the truth I went to a maternity store and laid down a good amount of green for a little of this:

Awww. I just love a lot of pregnancy mixed up with a little honesty. :)

How to Shoplift a Watermelon

I ran to the grocery store the other day and used the self checkout lane to pay for the groceries. I usually don't use the self checkout lanes as they completely freak me out. The automated voice is always telling me I am stupid, "Please place your scanned item in the bagging area... Please bag your item... NOW.  PUT YOUR ITEM IN THE BAG BEFORE I SEND A POLICE SQUADRON!!! Thank You." But, hey, what could go wrong? I only had a couple of items and I was in a hurry.

As I began the check out process I was trying my best to avoid the embarrassment I usually experience with these lanes so I was very carefully scanning each item and then very carefully placing them in the bagging area. You can imagine my pride when I successfully scanned all of my items without incident.

The credit card scanner is above the bagging area, so next I stepped away from the scanning area and over to the bagging area so I could pay for my groceries. And this is when the machine decided to start freaking out at me.
"There is an unscanned item in the bagging area! Please scan your item before bagging. BEEP. BEEP. There is an unscanned item in the bagging area! Please scan your item before bagging. BEEP!! BEEP!!"

I checked my hands. I checked my bags. I checked the scanning area. I had scanned ALL of my items. "What the crap is going on??" I just couldn't figure it out.

I checked again. I had absolutely no idea what the machine was freaking out about so I stepped back to think and try to figure out what I was going to do when the store clerk came over to accuse me of stealing.
...And the machine calmed down...

Yes, that is right. I stepped back and suddenly there were no more unscanned items in the bagging area. The machine thought my huge, pregnant belly was a grocery item. Nice.

So, this is what we have learned about self check out lanes:
A. If you have ever wondered whether or not you are too fat, just go stand in front of the scanner. Unlike your mother or your husband, the self check out machine will give you a truthful and unbiased answer.
B. If you really want some watermelon but just don't have the money to buy one, put it under your shirt and use the self check out lane. It will just let you know you are too fat.
C. You will realize that you have reached a point where your pregnancy is quite obvious. In fact, your pregnant belly is huge... as big as someone with a watermelon up their shirt.

My Huge Belly at 31 weeks.

I think I will stick to the regular check out lanes from now on.

Baby Is A...

GIRL!!!!

I was 85% sure I was having a boy. This pregnancy has just been so different than with Sadie, so I thought it had to mean I was having a boy. Sadie, however, has been sure we were having a girl since day 1. She never faltered and ALWAYS said she was getting a little sister. She was right.
Poor Ryan, he is getting to be very outnumbered.

She is still pretty skeletal, weighing in at exactly one pound. Here are some 3D pics from our 22 week ultrasound.

We welcome name suggestions!

Guess What??!!??

I Am A Big Whale

From about 5 months pregnant to the end of the road I felt like a huge ginormous whale. I decided to get a comparison when I was about 6 months pregnant...

I guess I am not quite as big... But almost!