Attempts at Potty Training: 3
Days since the commencement of the third attempt: 2
Number of extra loads of laundry this week: 3
Books borrowed from the library about the potty: 6
Number of times I had to yell, "Malley! Don't step in that!!!": 4
Successful attempts at using the potty: 1/2
Number of complete and total meltdowns: 2 (for Sadie) 4 (for me)
HELP!!!!
Many times as a parent I have felt completely at a loss as to how I should handle certain situations, but somehow I have always just faked it and gotten through. Not this time. I need some advice from anyone and everyone that has done the potty training thing. What am I doing wrong? How can I do this better?
Here is my process:
1. Barricade Myself and Sadie in the house for the entire day. We don't venture out
2. Let Sadie run around with no pants on
(I don't want to use pull ups because I can never tell when she needs to go and she treats pull ups and under wear just like a diaper and just goes in them without telling me)
3. Feed her lots of popcorn and water (he he)
4. Ask her if she wants to sit on her potty every hour or so. She happily complies when she doesn't need to go. She is rewarded with a sticker for trying. (She has a chart which she earns stickers for trying and a treat for success. And she gets to go to a movie when she fills up the chart. We call it her special reward. She talks about her special reward all day long. she is excited)
5. Sadie never actually goes to the bathroom when I have her try hourly. She holds it until she cannot possibly stand it any longer (we are talking many hours here)
6. She starts doing the potty dance and telling me she wants her diaper changed.
7. I calmly tell her that she needs to sit on the potty. The potty is where she goes to the bathroom now. Diapers are for little babies and she is a big girl.
8. She refuses to sit or even go near the potty. She kicks the potty. And refuses to even enter the bathroom. Sadie has a complete and total meltdown. She sobs hysterically while peeing all over the floor.
Today I tried to put a diaper on her potty and have her sit in the diaper while on the potty. That worked to get her to sit down, but she still got really upset when she started to pee. Then the next time I put a diaper on her and just had her come and sit on my lap in the bathroom. Still she got upset.
I think she is ready. She knows when she is going and can tell me when she wants her diaper changed. She can hold it for hours and hours when she knows she doesn't have a diaper on. She isn't afraid of the toilet itself because she sits on it just fine when she doesn't actually have to go. She just gets really upset when she knows she needs to go but thinks the only place she can go is in a diaper.
Once I actually got her to sit down on the potty when she needed to go and she went a little in the potty, but when she felt it come out she jumped up off the potty and got really upset. That made it run down her legs which made her even more upset. Ryan and I tried to be really positive when she did get it in the potty with cheers and hugs and candy and telling her that was a good job, but again, that made her even more upset.
7 comments:
I potty trained for a year. I would be an expert with experience, except for the part where it took me a year. I tried...everything. The ONLY thing that worked was inspiration. I would pray and pray for inspiration and from time to time I would get some and when I followed it we would take a baby step forward. Sometimes the inspiration flew in the face of what I know about behavioral science. (Hug her every time she pees on the floor. Reward undesirable behavior? Succeed.) Sometimes the inspiration flew in the face of what I wanted to do and what seemed logical. (I know she needs to go, she won't go to the bathroom, Spirit says take off her panties and leave her be. Suddenly she changes her mind and for the first time ever takes herself and succeeds.) Only one person really knows how it will work in your case. And I think He understands that it's a big deal.
The only other advice I have is when you are going crazy with it, it's ok to back off a bit, no matter how many times people tell you to be consistent. Sometimes the right thing is to back off, especially right after a move. It'll take her longer to adjust than it takes you.
OK, one last thing. Maintain hope that it will work someday. It will. Someday. Cry on a few shoulders until then. Those of us who potty trained for a year find comfort in the fact that it's hard for other people too. We will be your shoulder.
Oh sister, I SOOOO know what you are going through. It consumes your every waking moment and even invades your sleep, doesnt it?
My advice would be to dont give up, but also don't push her too much so that she feels like rebeling against it. Because it sounds like kind of a control thing. I am a believer in sticker charts so thats good to let her have a sticker for sitting on the potty. Then give her a bigger reward for going on the potty, then just keep increasing them.
I also did the no pants all day thing and that was helpful. Another trick you can try if you want is to take a portable potty seat and put it in the living room and have her sit on it and watch a movie. Then she might go without really knowing it (but put like a towel underneath just in case she does notice and jumps up and gets it everywhere). Then just check every so often and make a HUGE deal if she goes in the potty. Like a party, call grandma (or aunt crystal!), give her treats, etc. So... try that I guess. I swore I would never have our potty seats out in the living room cuz it was gross, but I totally did it and it totally helped. You just gotta find your thing.
Stay strong! And resign yourself to being a hermit in your house and not going anywhere for like a week!
Good luck! (longest comment ever)
My experience has been in the past: Cole was Sadie's age and I so wanted him to be potty trained.. I worked and worked with him and I was loosing an uphill battle.. We were heading to Moab and I thought I would try again when we got back.. But you know that story we didn't come back for awhile and our world was kinda turned upside down for a bit... That was in May.. I had other priorities at that time and PTing was not one of them.. In September he was now just barely over 3 one day HE decided he wanted to potty train and he did.. He took control and trained himself in a day or two.. He was night trained within the month too.. SO
When Kade was becoming of age.. I looked back at the time Potty training was MY idea and the time it was COLE'S idea and I told myself I would wait for him to be ready.. and sure enough one day HE decided it was time and he was soo easy.. in fact the first time he pooped in the potty was at 1am.. He had woke up and went and put himself on the potty... BUT Kenadee was a little different.. I am not sure if it was cuz she was a girl (I had heard girls were easier, I beg to differ) She was 3 months from turning 3 and again "I" was ready to be TOTALLY done with diapers so I did force the issue and it was a struggle for both of us.. I know she wasn't ready and I made her and so we had accidents where I didn't with the boys and it was just a stressful experience.. SOO my recommendation would be to wait until SHE is ready.. Yes it maybe closer to 3 years old but they do so much better if it's their idea and not Mom's for some reason. Kenadee also still has phobia/fears of the potty at times I think because of the making her sit on the potty and us calling all the shots.. I know every child is different but this is what I have found to work and not to work.. Good luck with what you decide to do.. It will happen one day I promise.. I know it doesn't seem like it will but it will!!!! Remember Sadie's the boss here!!! =)
PS.I think I'm in the running for the longest post ever!! haha
Whew I clicked on publish comment and an error came up and said it was too LARGE!!! UGGH. then it said it had been saved and would show up soon.. and it did.. Glad I didn't waste my breath.. hee hee.
Lisa, don't get too discouraged. Chase did alot of those same things. So I backed off. I felt like the potty police all day constantly asking "Do you have to got potty?" I'm pretty sure Chase got really annoyed. Finally, I just gave up. I decided that I'd let him wear a diaper, but I'd still ask occassionally if he needed to go. After about 3 weeks of him wearing a diaper, he began to tell me more often that he wanted to go potty and we just went from there. She will definitely do it when she is ready, even though you are probably ready for her to be ready now! lol, but she'll get there, and when she does, it'll finally click for her. This probably doesn't help much but encourage but I hope it helps even a little:)
Hey, hey, hey!
okay, i told crystal the same thing but she don't listen.....
stop.
wait till she is older, diapers are not that bad.
she is in control and won't do it till she wants to do it NO MATTER what you try, no matter how many stickers you give her, candy etc....just doesn't matter until she decides she wants to do it and that probably won't be until she is three or three and a half even. i promise....three kids later....this has been my experience and what i have seen with others kids.
OR
you can continue the battle, stay at home all the time, drive yourself crazy and have no life....a lot of people do this and potty train for a year :) fun.
So I am just catching up on your blog after a while. I agree with the Mitchell's. I have also thought about potty training Eliza. But I would rather do diapers until she is 3, instead of cleaning up accidents and crying in the restroom for a year. I had one idea that i don't know if you've tried. Do you let sadie watch you go potty? I have let Eliza go with me for a long time now. She understands that is where you go and likes to go in the potty but she just doesn't really know when she is going. I am going to wait till she is more ready too. Good luck! -Xochi
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