WARNING: This is an emotional rant. I do have to admit that I feel much better after writing it. But, you may not like me so much after you read this. Or, at least, the myth will be dispelled and you will know that I am not perfect.
(GASP)...Awkward silence
Yes, it is true. If you want to believe, read on. If you choose not to believe, maybe it is best that you go and read this blog instead.
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Is my computer screen emitting through a rose-colored screen, or is it just me?
Maybe I missed the memo that in order to write a blog one must first be perfect. Or, perhaps it works the other way around and the blogosphere is some sort of Utopian fairyland where once you enter you are automatically perfect.
Oh! Oh!I know! I know! Pick me! Blogland is the enochian version of relief society. Yeah, that's it. That explains all the perfectly happy smiling children who never misbehave and all of the perfectly pretty wives who bake delicious gourmet meals for their perfectly wonderful and loving husbands who never do wrong and are always saintly.
Now, back to the real world:
Ring, Ring... Ring, Ring (that is my cell phone ringing)
Me: Hello
C: (my awesome sister-in-law) I HATE Mrs. X!!! (We know this is the real world because the emotion of HATE is forbidden in blogland)
Me: Ok... Why?
C: She has twins just like me but she is all like "oh, having twins is so easy!" "Oh, having twins is so natural!" "Oh, I love having twins." WHATEVER!!! Having twins is hard.
Me: Amen, Sister. (ok, I don't have twins, but I already know that if I did I would pretty much be dead)
Come on people, let's get real! Maybe it is just because my child has decided to stop sleeping and keeps me awake until all unholy hours of the night or maybe it is because it has been winter for way, waaaay too long, but either way, I am ornery. So, in my ornery state of mind I am calling for everyone to just be real.
If your kid, by some chance, does say the most seriously cute thing ever, by all means, post about it! If your husband has some wave of genius and loving emotion come over him whilst you are out and he does all the dishes in the sink for you, by all means, post about it. But, if have a day where you find yourself still in your pajamas at 5 pm, your child running around the house butt naked, and dinner burning in the oven, I want to hear about that too! (It would just really help me to know that I am normal). All I am saying is that full disclosure would be appreciated.
In an effort to start the movement of full disclosure I shall bare all.
You may know, from reading earlier blog posts, that Ryan and I are on a super strict anti-sugar diet. But, what I haven't told you is that last week my hormones began twisting my uterus inside out, sending me spiraling into a deep dark pit of emotional despair (otherwise known an PMS) so in an attempt at survival I ate 8 candy bars. Yes, I said 8. In one week.
I shall also reveal that I make this really awesome pecan encrusted honey-mustard chicken recipe. It is de-lish. (I should probably follow blog protocal and post a better homes and garden-ish picture in which you can almost smell how good it is sure to taste). You should also know that the last time I tried to make it we ended up eating Subway sandwiches for dinner because I burnt it to a crisp. Seriously, the smoke detector was very rude about the whole situation and mocked me, very loudly.
Really, the list is endless. But, I started (and now I am starting to feel embarrassed and a little inadequate). So now it is your turn. SPILL IT.
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7 comments:
Amen sista! This is the best post I have ever read. Ever. I think everyone needs to hear this. Seriously.
Oh Lisa,
I so understand your sister-in-law's comments. I have a friend who just recently got married and tends to over glamorize being a stay at home mom. She is constantly telling me how much free time that I have, and how I should never let my child watch television or play on the computer.
I finally told her off the other day. I said, "Yes, I do have free time, but I can't do anything productive with it. I can't read a book because my daughter will rip it to shreds. I can't watch a movie I want to see because my daughter understands WAY too much. I can't do any needle work or anything like that because it is too interesting to my daughter and ends up getting pulled out some how. I can't play on the computer. I have two broken laptops to prove that one. I can cook only certain times of the day before I have to deal with a tantrum from someone not getting enough attention. Oh...and don't get me started on the whole television thing. Cartoons and 'Signing Time' are a saving grace. Without them, I wouldn't be able to get a shower, and might possibly be sent to the mental institution for having an emotional breakdown. Keeping a one year old's complete attention all day is near to impossible. I can do just about any activity I can think of in about three hours.
Anyway, there is my rant. Phew...I feel much better.
Lisa I love it! I've become a bashful blogger ever since some idiot stranger bashed my honesty as being a bad mom but NO MORE... Don't feel bad about the 8 candy bars in a week. I have managed to eat almost an entire package of Tim-Tams TODAY. In my defense I'm pregnant (with gestational diabetes shhhh don't tell)and there are only like 10 in a package. Crystal and I are totally jealous of your awesomeness with the fieldtrip friday and one day hope to be smart enough to think of fun things to do!
I came via the link on Crystal's blog. This is fantastic and I agree. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who feels resentful towards their situation sometimes. Being a mom is not that fun all the time! No sir. I appreciate your candid words especially since I am reading this in my pajamas at 3:25pm. I mean, what's the purpose of trying to sneak a shower in if no one else is around to care but you?
Uh, I don't think you know that I read your blog, but I do. So introductions first: I went to high school with Ryan, and am currently in Crystal's ward (small world), and am the current Twilight/New Moon trivia champ from her party. :)
I like to think of myself as an honest blogger, although it's private (if you want an invite, let me know. . . I'm just keeping out a particular person). Although sometimes the down days just make me in a non-blogging mood. Make sense? Anyway. . . . I do the 8 candy bar thing on a regular basis. And I thought you were crazy for doing that whole no-sugar/no-preservative/no-yummy-food/you've-got-to-be-out-of-your-mind-to-do-this diet. (not to be rude. just sayin'. I could never do it)
All that to say: I agree. :)
I love the comments! Thx for all of your candid words of encouragment.
@ Crystal: You are my muse.
@ Shannon: Heard you were in the hospital. Everything ok? And you go with the Tim-Tams, baby. I say anything goes when you are preggers.
@ SSToone: Thanks for coming to visit my blog! So what is your name? And, about the whole shower thing, I now, right? Pre-Kiddo I used to work from home and sometimes I would get all wrapped up in work and totally forget to shower until the hubby came home and looked at me funny. Wearing PJs just helps you get the job done better sometimes.
@ JJStringham: Consider yourself offically welcomed to the blog. (I stalk a few people myself so I totally get it). So if you are the resident twilight expert, I must have met you at Crystal's party, right? Anywhoo, Ryan says "Hi". And, Yeah, I guess I see where you are coming from with the whole bad day = not in the mood to blog. I just happen to be the opposite and I love to vent! Don't worry about calling me crazy about the diet. I am pretty sure that I AM crazy. But, I feel so much better!
So, is this the longest comment response in the history of all blogging? I am looking for a shout out from Guinness.
ok my turn =). I know that I am supposed to keep my house clean and do something really productive while my daughter Eliza takes a nap...well the past couple of days while she has been asleep I have also been taking naps! Not just the 15 minute quickie nap, we are talking about an hour and a half naps. Basically, I wake up when she does, and then feel guilty that i didn't clean the bathroom like I had planned.
I also have Gestational Diabetes and should not be eating hardly any carbs. Well... the other day i ate a whole Bagel, not just any bagel but the cinnamon sugar bagel with a but load of cream cheese. Talk about healthy for the baby right? I just couldn't resist the carbs anymore. My sugar levels went through the roof! The sucky thing is that I had to show my Doctor the numbers, talk about feeling guilty!
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